Vasara Glyndark
Monarch
- Local time
- Today 1:32 AM
- Messages
- 796
For years I conformed to what people wanted me to be. The good student. The good son. The good man.
After so many years I am tired of being what you want me to be. I am drowning in you, I can't find the surface.
My feet hurt from walking in your shoes. My soul is cracking from the pressure. I am trapped in the undertow.
Now all I want to be is me and less like you. But after so many years of pretending I have no idea who I am.
Trying to figure out who I am, is so exhausting. I have become numb. My blade has dulled. Who am I?
I can't feel. I can't love. I can't cry. I am trapped behind a wall with eyes. I can look out but I can never get out.
I should have fallen asleep hours ago, I am so tired yet I can't sleep. Can't shut off my brain, I am hyper aware.
You are smothering me with your expectations, your demands, and your criticisms. You are killing me.
I hold on to tightly to what you want me to be, I can't cut loose for fear of losing control and exposing the fraud.
I am falling apart right in front of you, but you can't see. I am to good at pretending, at hiding, my mask is all you see.
I freeze, I hesitate for fear of taking a wrong step of making a mistake that exposes it all and that is more than I can take.
In the end I know it will all come crashing down, it can't last, it should not last, but I must make it last because I can't fail.
How can I be who I was meant to be when I have no clue who she is or what she looks like? Tell me who I am? Please.
After so many years I am tired of being what you want me to be. I am drowning in you, I can't find the surface.
My feet hurt from walking in your shoes. My soul is cracking from the pressure. I am trapped in the undertow.
Now all I want to be is me and less like you. But after so many years of pretending I have no idea who I am.
Trying to figure out who I am, is so exhausting. I have become numb. My blade has dulled. Who am I?
I can't feel. I can't love. I can't cry. I am trapped behind a wall with eyes. I can look out but I can never get out.
I should have fallen asleep hours ago, I am so tired yet I can't sleep. Can't shut off my brain, I am hyper aware.
You are smothering me with your expectations, your demands, and your criticisms. You are killing me.
I hold on to tightly to what you want me to be, I can't cut loose for fear of losing control and exposing the fraud.
I am falling apart right in front of you, but you can't see. I am to good at pretending, at hiding, my mask is all you see.
I freeze, I hesitate for fear of taking a wrong step of making a mistake that exposes it all and that is more than I can take.
In the end I know it will all come crashing down, it can't last, it should not last, but I must make it last because I can't fail.
How can I be who I was meant to be when I have no clue who she is or what she looks like? Tell me who I am? Please.